Debt Collectors – How to eff with them when they eff with you

Check out How to Answer Creditor Calls for an incomplete list of awesome ways to address annoying creditor calls For any of you who may have run into a financial conundrum, and have found that you are unable to pay off your credit card debt, you may just be able to relate with this.  Maybe you just ran up all your credit cards one day thinking that the world truly was ending on some particular day due to what some person said on television, and now find yourself with 1,000 boxes of floss and only twenty-some teeth. Or maybe due to a divorce or other major life event you decided that working wasn’t worth it, but money sure was needed for all the vodka you suddenly found yourself drinking. Perhaps you just got addicted to buying things even though you made just a few dollars over minimum wage, and wound up in a financial hole. Whatever the reason, I assume you decided that you’d rather be able to eat food, pay for gas to get to work, pay for internet to download stuff for free (ahem, I’d never recommend that of course), and pay rent as opposed to working to the bone to pay off credit card debt at the new amazing rate of 20% interest. So, you find yourself then in the situation where suddenly you don’t even owe the original banks or companies that gave you the credit in the first place. For whatever reason, the loan gets purchased by another company, usually one that has an odd name and is known for exhibiting sociopath-like behavior. It...

How to handle those pesky creditor calls

Here is a list of great ways to answer those annoying calls made by debt collectors who have purchased your original loan(s) from the original lender.  Implementing them should be fun, and make the experience a lot more interesting and less annoying. Feel free to check out My Take on Debt Collectors 1) Use only one word or phrase during the entire conversation.  Don’t cave in.  While the caller may be saying things like “you’ll go to jail, blah blah, your right arm will fall off if you don’t pay today, blah blah blah, you’re going to make the planet Mercury explode if you don’t pay NOW, blah blah blah blah,” hold your ground and stick to your one word or phrase.  This word can be something like “pancakes,” or “Wisconsin,” or “saucy biscuits.” 2) Pretend that you’re talking to a long lost friend from a southern state, and use your best southern accent.  The trick here is to talk completely over anything the caller may be saying.  When they tell you something about how if you don’t pay you’ll get a disease that will inhibit you from ever eating nachos again, you simply say something like “Well hell Jim! How in the hell have ya been buddy?  Haven’t seen you since…..” and on and on.  This can be a very exhilarating experience.  Once again, the trick is to not let them get to you.  It’s best to just keep talking, but to have some semblance of a  conversation, you can reply with something completely irrelevant when they ask if you can pay all $490,000 that day lest you...